Dear Diary,
It's Monday and I can't seem to stop sneezing. It's making me crazy. I sneeze morning, noon, and night! I don't think it's ever going to stop. I went to the drug store today to buy some antihistamines and the drug store clerk alerted me to the meaning behind sneezes. What? Well, so here we go... day by day. It's Monday and apparently this is a sign for danger.
Well the drug store clerk wasn't lying. I sneezed while stepping off of the curb today, tripped, and fell right in front of a car. LUCKILY the car stopped....the sneezing still hasn't!
Day 2:
Dear Diary,
It's Tuesday, and YES I'm still sneezing. I mean, it's getting completely ridiculous. I've used up so much tissue, the garbage man refuses to come pick up my trash anymore. He says he's not payed to pick up 6 extra receptacle bins. Yeah, like it's my choice to be sneezing for 43 days straight!! Well, the drug store clerk said sneezing on Tuesday is a sign to kiss a stranger. Please, you can just forget about that.
This is such crap. I was walking home from work today and a complete stranger ran up to me, grabbed me on either side of my face, yelled "IT'S A BOY!!" and kissed me smack on the lips. This is starting to freak me out.
Day 3:
Dear Diary,
Well, Wednesday is here (day 44 of my sneezing tirade). I'd better go check my mailbox, because the drug store clerk said sneezing on a Wednesday is "sneezing for a letter." It better be a letter commending me on my ability to stand up to 44 days of sneezing!!! I truly think I'm dying....each sneeze takes away 5% of my overall strength.
So, you shouldn't be surprised that I received an important letter today. I got a letter from my sister. SHE'S GETTING MARRIED!!!! (Ok, this is SERIOUSLY starting to freak me out!)
Day 4:
Dear Diary,
Thursday is here and I'm praying I will stop sneezing today. According to the drug store clerk, sneezing on Thursday is a sign for something better! Mmm-Hmm... something better than what? I'm asking every single person I pass on the street to kill me and end this agony. No one has! Chickens!!
So something better did happen today, though. When I got to work, my boss called me into her office. I thought, "Oh great. Here it comes. She thinks I have the plague and wants me to stay home until I stop sneezing!" But no!! She gave me the promotion I've been working so hard for. So, this sneezing thing isn't COMPLETELY bad. (If you mention that to anyone, I'll deny it and then I'll throw you in the fireplace!)
Day 5:
Dear Diary,
Friday!! Thank God!!! I only have to survive today. Then I can crawl in my bed and prey for either the sneezing to stop or death to come!! Course, I won't get either. :(
Well, the drug store clerk said sneezing on Friday is a sign of sorrow. My husband called and said he won't be able to make it home from his business trip today like expected. DAMN ... I needed someone to make me soup and then clean off the wall after I spray it down!
Day 6:
Dear Diary,
It's Saturday! Whoopdy doo! I swear, if I don't stop sneezing ... it'll be the end of me. I mean, come on, I already have wiped the tip of my nose away. Seriously! I'm starting to see bone. Johnson & Johnson called me yesterday to thank me personally for making their stock prices rise. The drug store clerk said that Saturday sneezing meant I would "see my sweetheart tomorrow!"
Stupid drug store clerk ... he was right, AGAIN!!! My husband called and said he'd be home first thing tomorrow morning. I'm going to the drug store tomorrow and I'm going to spray down that clerk! (Aaaaaa-chooooo!)
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| A Seriously Unfortunate Sneeze - Seriously Profound |
This short sneezing poem was one of my favorites from the Nursery Rhymes reading unit. I have horrible allergies and I sneeze all the time. If you've been on campus and had someone sneeze around you, it's probably me! Anyway, the rhyme says that sneezing on any given day has a meaning. I thought it would be fun for someone suffering from allergies and incessant sneezing to write a diary about it. I don't know how well it came off, but I liked writing it. Here's the original poem below:
If you sneeze on Monday, you sneeze for danger;
Sneeze on a Tuesday, kiss a stranger;Sneeze on a Wednesday, sneeze for a letter;Sneeze on a Thursday, something better;Sneeze on a Friday, sneeze for sorrow;Sneeze on a Saturday, see your sweetheart to-morrow.
Bibliography:
Reading Unit: Nursery Rhymes. Web Source: Nursery Rhymes
Sneezes. Web Source: Sneezes
Image: A Seriously Unfortunate Sneeze. Web Source: A Seriously Unfortunate Sneeze
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